laugh at life with gillie

'Left, left, left right left!' The Sergeant shouts at us, 'left, left, left right left!' Then he starts to cuss. 'That man there; that four eyed twit!' I think he's addressing me. 'What's up with your f***ing legs?  Are you doing a sea-shanty?' 'Left, left, left right left... HALT! Stand still that man! You resemble a French tart, doing the Can-can!' 'Squar-d... Sta-a-a-and at... EASE! Come on lift those legs; your not in the RAF you know! The army lift them six inches off the floor, then drive them six feet below!' 'I wish he were six feet below,' I whisper tongue in cheek. 'Who said that?' the sergeant asked, 'I didn't tell you to speak!' 'For speaking in the ranks, we'll do it all again, you may have broken your mothers hearts; but you won't give me no pain!' 'I'm your mother now, so get your hair cut son, if it gets any longer, you could tie...

Magic mushrooms, poppy seeds, long haired hippies with strings of beads... WE ALL LIVED IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE! Er, sorry about that...NURSE!

Do crows have Crow Bars? No; at least I don't think so. Do Chairs cheer, when the Crows drink beer in Crow Bars? No; at least I don't think so. Do Spirits haunt the Crow bars, singing Lively Spirit Songs, whilst the Chairs cheer and the Crows drink beer in the Crow Bar? No; at least I don't think so.   

In field that lies in a Dingle; near the Village of Dingle-Doo. Stands a Scarecrow who scares the crows away with words like "Scram!" and "Boo!" One day he had a problem, with a crow called Jack the Lad, Who had flown down from the City, to drive poor Scarecrow mad. At night when Jack was sleeping, he decided to seek advice, He complained to Oscar; the wise old Owl,  "That Jack pinched corn from my field; Twice!" The Wise Old Owl looked puzzled, and blinked, and sort of frowned, "Who, Who," he asked the scarecrow, then turned his head right round, To where Nutty the Squirrel was sitting, with a nut between his paws. "Tut, tut," said Nutty, "He's back is he, Breaking all our laws." Oscar blinked again. Then said, "Whoo, whoo!" in surprise and disbelief, "I thought he was back in the City, Who, heck, he is a thief." Scarecrow said, "I've booed him and I've shooed him; and I even told him t...

    There'd been a war we were poor. Hand me down we didn't frown. Not new; but clean. No money, not mean. Flat caps for lads, one of dads. Girls in mums skirt, Boys in dads shirt. Violins? Its sad? No not that bad. No pleasure? No pressure! Make do and mend, No up to date trend. A stitch in time, saved Mam nine. No pressure, all pleasure! Grew our own food, it tasted good. No credit, No debit. We didn't complain, No cars, just a bus, sometimes a train. Grew up, its Rock, parents in shock. Rock and Roll, Blues and all that jazz. Punk and other razzmatazz. Young no more, Grim Reaper rapping on the door. Today we have Rap, I'm in a generation gap. Left behind without a map.

 The names in this story have been changed to protect the innocent and not so innocent. Although everyone has met someone like Cedric at some time, this story is a work of fiction. However, If by any chance, you recognise yourself in this story and you are annoyed, don't get annoyed, hang your head in shame and don't complain; as you would be better off keeping quiet. _________________________________________________ This is the diary of Cedric 'Jobs Worth'  Pollock; Well, some of the words are his. However, He retired and left his diary in his locker. My name is Jack Star, I worked with Cedric in the Car Park Attendant and Security Department of the local Authority of Cods-Haven on the East coast of England. When I read his diary it brought back a lot of memories; so I have filled in the gaps, __________________________________________________________________________________ Cedric's first entry, " January 16th AM  See Mr Edwin in his office. ...