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laugh at life with gillie: Sad, Bad, and Barking Mad.

laugh at life with gillie: Sad, Bad, and Barking Mad. The Sad ones are the incompetent London Gangsters and their accountant who absconds with their money; The Bad ones are the Gangsters and the Barking Mad one is the Accountants Dog who he buys from a scrap yard for protection from the Gangsters who are on his trail as he hides in a Northern fishing town. Will his fisherman and ex army nephew get home from sea to come to his aid as he did in London; will he beat the gangsters with the aid of his new friends? Amongst them another sad person- Walter Mittie type character- who falsely claims to be Ex S A S special forces soldier and  amasses arms that he obtained from Russia with a promise to cause mayhem on the British Isles or suffer the consequences from the Russian secret services who frequent 'Codshaven' Docks in their Russian spy ships. Explosions, lies, torture, adventure, incompetent planning and hilarious errors.

Rhyme time

Timothy Hedgehog Finds a Friend.  One day when the sun was shining, all the animals were at play. Timothy Hedgehog went to join them, but they nasty things shooed him away. 'Clear off!' They shouted rudely, 'your prickly and play too rough: Why can't you be like the rest of us, all cuddly and covered in fluff?' Poor Timothy went away tearfully, shuffling and snuffling along. He sat on a stone and had a good cry, then from somewhere a voice said, 'What's wrong?' 'Who said that?' asked Timothy, as he could not see anyone around. 'Your sitting on my house.' said the voice, that seemed to come from the ground. Timothy jumped up quickly, from what he thought was a stone, thinking to himself, "well it looks more like a stone than a home." Slowly out of each corner, appeared a very wrinkly leg, then just at slowly at one end, there appeared a thumb shaped wrinkled head. 'Who are you?' asked Tymothy; wiping a tear from h

laugh at life with gillie: 4 of my comedy rhymes

laugh at life with gillie: 4 of my comedy rhymes : Twas a stormy winter night, the back end of the year, Harold came across a wayside Inn, and went in for a beer. The Landlady was a co...

7 of my comedy rhymes

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 Our parrot. Once we had a parrot,  who wasn't very pleasant,  he escaped from our window,  and raped a passing pheasant. Harold's Wayside Drink. Twas a stormy winter night, the back end of the year, Harold came across a wayside Inn, and went in for a beer. The Landlady was a comely wench with overflowing boobs, The Landlord kept his cellar good and always cleaned his tubes. Harold had one drink and then another one; or two, the seat was comfortable, the company good, so he drank another few. The fire blazed in the grate, the welcome was also warm. Whilst outside the cold wind blew, and kicked up a mighty storm. Although Harold was a married man, he liked a pint of beer, he imagined he was a youth again, without family; or a care. He gave the buxom Landlady more attention than he should, the beer was talking for him, he was in a confident mood. The Landlord was a large man, but Harold didn't care, The ale was in, the wits were out

laugh at life with gillie: The New Poets of Rap.

laugh at life with gillie: The New Poets of Rap. : Poetical, historical, Record of our time poets of rap truth in rhyme. listen hear don't sneer care young here. Look see not just...

The New Poets of Rap.

Poetical, historical, Record of our time poets of rap truth in rhyme. listen hear don't sneer care young here. Look see not just me it's he, she, she and he. Together stand apart fall stand tall for all. Listen, listen, listen eyes open, glisten in recognition. Remember Rock? parents in shock rock on with rap close that gap catch up get the map.

The Drill Sergeant.

'Left, left, left right left!' The Sergeant shouts at us, 'left, left, left right left!' Then he starts to cuss. 'That man there; that four eyed twit!' I think he's addressing me. 'What's up with your f***ing legs?  Are you doing a sea-shanty?' 'Left, left, left right left... HALT! Stand still that man! You resemble a French tart, doing the Can-can!' 'Squar-d... Sta-a-a-and at... EASE! Come on lift those legs; your not in the RAF you know! The army lift them six inches off the floor, then drive them six feet below!' 'I wish he were six feet below,' I whisper tongue in cheek. 'Who said that?' the sergeant asked, 'I didn't tell you to speak!' 'For speaking in the ranks, we'll do it all again, you may have broken your mothers hearts; but you won't give me no pain!' 'I'm your mother now, so get your hair cut son, if it gets any longer, you could tie

The Old Hippies Song.

Magic mushrooms, poppy seeds, long haired hippies with strings of beads... WE ALL LIVED IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE! Er, sorry about that...NURSE!

Do Crows have Crow Bars?

Do crows have Crow Bars? No; at least I don't think so. Do Chairs cheer, when the Crows drink beer in Crow Bars? No; at least I don't think so. Do Spirits haunt the Crow bars, singing Lively Spirit Songs, whilst the Chairs cheer and the Crows drink beer in the Crow Bar? No; at least I don't think so.   

The Scarecrow At Dingle-Doo

In field that lies in a Dingle; near the Village of Dingle-Doo. Stands a Scarecrow who scares the crows away with words like "Scram!" and "Boo!" One day he had a problem, with a crow called Jack the Lad, Who had flown down from the City, to drive poor Scarecrow mad. At night when Jack was sleeping, he decided to seek advice, He complained to Oscar; the wise old Owl,  "That Jack pinched corn from my field; Twice!" The Wise Old Owl looked puzzled, and blinked, and sort of frowned, "Who, Who," he asked the scarecrow, then turned his head right round, To where Nutty the Squirrel was sitting, with a nut between his paws. "Tut, tut," said Nutty, "He's back is he, Breaking all our laws." Oscar blinked again. Then said, "Whoo, whoo!" in surprise and disbelief, "I thought he was back in the City, Who, heck, he is a thief." Scarecrow said, "I've booed him and I've shooed him; and I even told him t

No Pressure, All Pleasure. Generation Gap Rap.

    There'd been a war we were poor. Hand me down we didn't frown. Not new; but clean. No money, not mean. Flat caps for lads, one of dads. Girls in mums skirt, Boys in dads shirt. Violins? Its sad? No not that bad. No pleasure? No pressure! Make do and mend, No up to date trend. A stitch in time, saved Mam nine. No pressure, all pleasure! Grew our own food, it tasted good. No credit, No debit. We didn't complain, No cars, just a bus, sometimes a train. Grew up, its Rock, parents in shock. Rock and Roll, Blues and all that jazz. Punk and other razzmatazz. Young no more, Grim Reaper rapping on the door. Today we have Rap, I'm in a generation gap. Left behind without a map.

The Diary of a Jobsworth.

 The names in this story have been changed to protect the innocent and not so innocent. Although everyone has met someone like Cedric at some time, this story is a work of fiction. However, If by any chance, you recognise yourself in this story and you are annoyed, don't get annoyed, hang your head in shame and don't complain; as you would be better off keeping quiet. _________________________________________________ This is the diary of Cedric 'Jobs Worth'  Pollock; Well, some of the words are his. However, He retired and left his diary in his locker. My name is Jack Star, I worked with Cedric in the Car Park Attendant and Security Department of the local Authority of Cods-Haven on the East coast of England. When I read his diary it brought back a lot of memories; so I have filled in the gaps, __________________________________________________________________________________ Cedric's first entry, " January 16th AM  See Mr Edwin in his office.