Posts

Showing posts from October, 2013

The Terror Pup

Image
I got a dog -a bitch- she's only small -a titch-. A terror; a terrier; a bone buryer. It took me hours to plant some flowers. The terror pup dug them all up. Replaces them with bones... and mobile phones. A digger, a scratter, a very good ratter. She kills pet mice, not nice! And Rabbits! so many bad habits. She chases cats, and wind blown hats. She chases birds, rolls around in fox turds. She chased a fox, and savaged my socks. In the chicken run? She had lots of fun. The feathers flew, that's true. A one bitch Rat-pack. A hunter, a throwback to days gone by; She killed a fly. that buzzed her eye. She's very quick, she looks angelic, Small in size, Big brown eyes, Vermin hater,  terminator. Love her to bits. www.theoldie.co.uk www.any-uk-vet.co.uk/clee

Music to your ears... Through the years

Rock and roll singing soul or anything that rhymes, Ballads, blues, blue swede shoes, all parts of our times, Mu-sic to your ears, Happy, Sad, your in tears. Gra-nd parents didn't like it not as good as theirs Black bottom they got em, Jazzzz, Skiffle folk and Rock; Blu-u-u-u-es... B-BOP! HOP! Hip hop! Now...at the top. Where were you at the time, when you were in your prime? Left school, broke every rule, played that music loud. Fell in love, turtle dove, soppy ballad song. Baby due, pink or blue? Memor-ies, cherish-es, years fly by; Hey was it that long? You may be old show your bold, CO-O-OOOL, not cold, Rock on John! to every thing that's here been and gone.   www.theoldie.co.uk

Cowboy Jed.

There once was a cowboy called Jed, I said once, he lived long ago; he's dead. He was at the last stand in the Wild West land. He wore a mask... and a big hat, What about that? You could tell it was him, I think he was dim. a little black mask, well, I ask?; Yeah, a little black job; didn't cover gob. He robbed trains and banks. and had bad pals who were cranks. Quick on the draw; and breaking the law... So handsome with his lantern jaw He never ever went near a cow, Unless he was rustling em;  Now! Why call him a cowboy? I hear you ask, when all he ever did was rob folk in a mask. I really don't know; if I did I'd say so. But! the cinemas fill, when Jed's top of the bill. Whenever there's nowhere for Jed to rob; in his mask, that isn't big enough, to cover the task He has a whirl in bed with his girl; still wearing his mask! must be why the cinemas full, Cowboys and Cowgirls? I think its all Bull.

4 More of my Comedy Rhymes in 1 post.

  The Mad Poet  Rupert was an aspiring poet, though the critics didn't want to know it. He began to rave and tear his hair out, his lips were formed in a permanent pout. He wasn't original. In time he was sectioned, he'd gone out of his mind, Well, he'd never been in it, I think you will find. He now sits in his cell dreaming up lots of verse Of silvery moons and a nocturnal hearse. frittering lights and a madman's curse. He was getting original. In time he was allowed to use sharp pens, so he wrote of ghostly shapes crossing fog shrouded fens. The critics read his work and now want to know it. Rupert's now famous; a celebrated Mad Poet. Now he's original. The Inn on The Moor.  I came across a lonely Inn across a lonely Moor, The clientèle were weird as hell so I legged it for the door. I made it to the threshold, the air inside was cold. Mine host appeared in front of me, a pale skinny chap, upon his bony head he wore a raggedy

Some of my most popular comedy rhymes.

I'm going to have a shout at rap, close this yawning generation gap. I'm 70 and  up for it. lets have a go, Yo! we'll strut our stuff in the hood, that's good. We have our soul,  and rock and roll Now live in this time, talk in rhyme, lets have a go; Yo! We all have our point of view, Now it's their time give them their due, let go, Yo! Come on you Dads, here's your chance strut your stuff take a stance shout at the pensioners rapping dance ... EN-IT! Dads Rap Pack Come on Dads' now here's the chance,  join in with Dads' Rap Pack Dance. Wave your hands up in the air;  Kids embarrassed? You don't care. Jump around on spindly legs, the blood will rush to those old pegs. Do a roll, you know you can, spin on the floor like a fresh air fan. The Mother Rap Packers follow on, fans of Walter, Fred & John. Wear your flat cap back to front, Your on the dancing partner hunt. Now we've all got on the floor, youngst