laugh at life with gillie

This is the chapter in my book where Horace meets his future friend and bodyguard. He is an accountant on the run from 1960s London Gangsters and a bungling cop who needs to show his superiors that he is not the idiot they know him to be. The book can be bought from Amazon. 'Sad, Bad and Barking Mad.'  Kilgore the scrap yard dog lay in his tea-chest kennel in the old rope factory courtyard.   His tormentor and archenemy Mogsie the feral cat slept peacefully on the south side of the tiled roof basking in the spring sunshine.   Once the sun had circled around to the west and cast a shadow on the roof, it would be time to have some fun with the dog.   Mogsie stretched, yawned, strolled down the roof and onto the pan tiled wall that surrounded the courtyard where Conan Murphy and son stored their scrap metal and army surplus machinery.  The tormenting feline loped along the seven-foot high wall like a leopard on the limb of a tree.  He arrived at the...

‘What’s going on?’  Charlie asked.  He startled Pricilla out of her daydream, where she imagined entertaining her new socially conscious friends in her newly acquired home.  Her mug holding hand shot up in a reflex action, she spluttered and choked with tears in her eyes as the tea went down both channels of her gullet; the words Oh fuck crossed her mind.  She sprang up from the armchair. ‘Oh, my god poor Archibald whatever could be the matter with him?  He fell off the sofa…’ she paused; what else could she say?  She could not think of anything, ‘oh my god,’ she wailed, ‘oh my god!’ she repeated, for the want of something else to say.  She threw her arms in the air in mock angst.  She ran around the room screaming and wailing hysterically.  Alcol thought that she was howling in triumph at killing his master. ‘Archibald has had some sort of seizure,’ Pricilla screeched, ‘he just fell from the sofa, what are we going to do.  I thi...

Using our upgraded interface - Blogger Help : 'via Blog this'

For this book you will need lots of tissues, because you will be sad one minute and in tears of laughter for hours. 'THE BEAST FROM BOGRIMS MARSH' Is now in the fictional comedy department of KINDLE. www.amazon.co.uk/kindle-

Dead Game by Claire Kinton & The BWA Publishing Programme: Lincoln Book Festival 2011 : On Wednesday evening, at 6:30pm, I headed to the Drill Hall in Lincoln City for a New Writers UK evening, part of the Lincoln Book Festiva...

Twitter / @thegrimbarian    gilliejohn @hotmail.co.uk   facebook john gill

Leave your, Game Boy,  PC, and Wii,  come with me, away from all modern triviality. Without plastic beams and plastic brass; and all night clubs with writhing mass.  Where birdsong is top of the charts and creatures have the starring parts. Hedgerow, stream, meadow and tree, make up the stage scenery. The curtain rises on part one  SPRING. Music arrives on feathered wing. Robin Hedge-sparrow, thrush, dipper, wren, are trilling in hedgerow, wood and glen. Skylarks liquid melody flows from high; crystal clear tune from clear blue sky. yellow hammer flutters among the trees, singing, 'little bit of bred and no - cheese. Squirrels and dormice in acrobatic acts, with death defying leaps, they land intact. In athletic games hares run and jump. Toe to toe,  they grunt, hiss and thump. The dipper curtsies and bobs enthusiastically. What a great show; and its all for free. The scenery changes with a more splendid hue....

It was all peace and quiet in the farmyard, until a mischievous wizard passed by. He waved his wand at the chickens, then at the pigs in their sty. The farmer yelled, 'Hey! What you doing?' He answered, 'Oh just having fun.' And ran quickly around the farmyard, muttering spells on the run. He laughed as he stood in the gateway. But the farmer could not see the joke. He ran forward to catch hold of the wizard, who vanished in a puff of smoke. Now the farmer got very frightened and rushed home to tell his wife, of the scene that he had just witnessed the likes of which he'd not seen in his life. They went back to look at the farmyard; to see what damage had been done' by that wizard who had been there, saying he was just having fun. The pigs were all in the pigsty; rooting around in the muck. But instead of grunting like pigs normally do, they looked up and started to cluck. The sheep were quacking in the sheep-pen,the ducks were mooing in th...

I got drunk one night, staggered towards my home, entered a room. And shouted,  'Where are you wife! What you doing buying all these tacky trinkets? Where's all our nice ornaments?' The woman next door yelled, 'Get out of my house!'  :0\

Cocker Doodle saw the poodle chase the cat round the farm. Cocker Doodle watched the poodle from his perch where he'd come to no harm.

Humpty, Humpty Horace, the camel from Abber Dabber Doo, was standing one day at an oasis, having a leisurely chew, when a giant of a gnat came and bit him; causing poor Horace such pain, that he shot off across the desert, and swore he'd never go there again. Poor Humpty, Humpty Horace; no wonder he's taken the hump, Not only has he got two humps on his back, he also has a painful lump.

A mangy moggie called Micky Mog would fight with anything; even a dog. A great big dog, who they called Big Pat never did like that mangy cat. So she waited in ambush behind a log, thinking to herself, 'I'm a clever dog.' But Micky did what most cats do, he jumped on a log to get a good view. He spotted Pat crouched there, having a titter, jumped  on her back stuck his claws in and bit her. The pain and shock put Pat to flight; she ran and ran until out of sight. Micky hung on all the way, Shouting things like, Yahoo, yee, hoolay!" I don't know what happened after that, because there's been no sighting of dog nor cat.