Thursday, 27 November 2014

Jacky My Verminator..

Staring eyes,
twitching ears,
a front paw off the ground.

Head stuck forward,
hackles up,
sensing they're around.

Ratty's hiding in long grass,
Jacky knows he's there.
Like a cobra, Jacky strikes,
Rat squeals out in fear.

That ones dead,
more to kill,
they scamper all around.
Jacky kills them,
though they hide,
they are always found.

I miss Jacky,
that little dog;
as fearless as could be.
Now he's buried in the ground,
beneath the old oak tree.

www.any-uk-vet.co.uk/clee

Thursday, 16 October 2014

The Great Nature Show by John R Gill.

The Great Nature show.
Leave your TV, Game Boy, PC and Wii, come with me,
away from all modern triviality.
Without plastic beams and plastic brass;
in disco clubs with writhing mass.
 Where birdsong is top of the charts
and creatures have the starring parts.
Hedgerow, stream, meadow and tree,
make up the stage scenery.

The curtain rises on part one  SPRING.
Music arrives on feathered wing.
Robin Hedge-sparrow, thrush, dipper, wren,
are trilling in hedgerow, wood and glen.
Skylarks liquid melody flows from high;
crystal clear tune from clear blue sky.

yellow hammer flutters among the trees,
singing, 'little bit of bred and no - cheese.
Squirrels and dormice in acrobatic acts,
with death defying leaps, they land intact.

In athletic games hares run and jump.
Toe to toe,  they grunt, hiss and thump.
The dipper curtsies and bobs enthusiastically.
What a great show; and its all for free.

The scenery changes with a more splendid hue.
More performers fly in.  SUMMER is due.

Now we have part two of the great nature show.
The stage radiates in a magnificent glow.
In cobalt flash, Kingfisher dives'
producing a fish; before your very eyes.

Dragonflies in limpid blue,
are on the aerobatic agenda too.
Moths and butterflies flutter gaily by;
sublime with splendour that makes the audience sigh.

Rabbit and hare run at a rapid pace;
performing in the great nature race.
But the faster hare reaches sixty miles an hour,
with long muscular legs as springs of power.

The stage struck pheasant struts in regal attire;
the cock of the north; plus any southern shire.
Watch Otter slide down the slippery bank.
An aquatic show of graceful, spiral, supple flank.

The morning mist lifts to reveal the next scene,
silvery laced webs bordering a golden sheen.
Its AUTUMN, part three, the trees wear a new suit,
the hedgerows and briar's offer free fruit.  

The dawn chorus strikes up' all the community sing,
Starling, robin, finch, sparrow, red-wing;
also the thrush, wren field-fare and tit.
Every species does more than its bit.

Jackdaw does his funny mime,
then mischievously turns to his thieving crime.
Raven does his funny walk,
Mallard laughs, 'Quark, ack, ack, ack.' He should talk.

Overhead there's an amazing sight,
Geese and Swans in arrowhead flight.
At dusk the choir gather again;
closing part three with a beautiful refrain.

Virgin snow covers the stage.
Part four WINTER. Frost bites, the winds in a rage.
Mistle-thrush provides the music now;
determined to out whistle the wind somehow.

Stoat dresses up this time of year;
the party gatecrasher in ermine fur.
Adults only for this part of the show;
signs of struggle, blood stained snow.

Through the still night air glides the ghostly Barn Owl.
Did he commit this deed so fowl.
It may have been Foxy; he's so sly.
He was seen skulking around nearby.

Was it Weasel? If you would like to know,
get out and about for the Great Nature Show.

Monday, 29 September 2014

The Drunk Driver.


Drunken driver,
at the wheel,
 have fun
 make tyres squeal.


Drive at speed,
Take no heed
of signs and others around.
Hit a curb,
car air bound.


Crashing, smashing, screaming, squealing!
Horrendous noise, fear in the air.
an electric shimmering atmosphere.
Stunned onlookers. Silence.




Running shouting, swearing!
Horrified people caring.
"What was he doing?"
"This ones dead!"
"Bandage that head!"




Children, Parents crying.
A day, lives ruined,
Drunk staggering around confused,
amongst dead wounded and dying.




'what have I done?'
Sobering thought;
not such fun.















Sunday, 18 May 2014

Comedy and other Rhyming stories for children. Written by me John the Grimbarian and mad poet.


          Timothy Hedgehog Finds a Friend.

 One day when the sun was shining, all the animals were at play.
Timothy Hedgehog went to join them, but they nasty things shooed him away.

'Clear off!' They shouted rudely, 'your prickly and play too rough:
Why can't you be like the rest of us, all cuddly and covered in fluff?'

Poor Timothy went away tearfully, shuffling and snuffling along.
He sat on a stone and had a good cry, then from somewhere a voice said, 'What's wrong?'

'Who said that?' asked Timothy, as he could not see anyone around.
'Your sitting on my house.' said the voice, that seemed to come from the ground.

Timothy jumped up quickly, from what he thought was a stone,
thinking to himself, "well it looks more like a stone than a home."

Slowly out of each corner, appeared a very wrinkly leg,
then just at slowly at one end, there appeared a thumb shaped wrinkled head.

'Who are you?' asked Tymothy; wiping a tear from his eye.
'I'm Terry Tortoise,' came the answer, 'come now please don't cry.

Timothy could not help it; he began to cry again.
'Why on earth do you sob so, are you feeling pain?'
Asked Terry, who was getting worried, because Timothy seemed really upset.
'The animals will not play with me,' he told Terry, who said, 'Don't fret.'
They will not plat with me either, they say I'm too slow and I'm ugly;
They say that I should be like them, fast and fury and cuddly;

'So why don't we play together? That is if you don't run too fast.'
'Well I don't run very fast either, with my little legs I always come last.'
Said Timothy who felt more cheerful, having found himself a new friend.
His spines would not stick in Terry's shell; in fact they were more likely to bend.

Terry is so well mannered and really a very good sport.
Though he was not very good looking, Timothy never gave that a thought.

When the others saw Terry and Timothy playing and laughing in the sun,
they thought they were missing something and came to join in the fun.



                The Scarecrow at Dingle-Doo

In field that lies in a Dingle; near the Village of Dingle-Doo.
Stands a Scarecrow who scares the crows away with words like "Scram!" and "Boo!"

One day he had a problem, with a crow called Jack the Lad,
Who had flown down from the City, to drive poor Scarecrow mad.
At night when Jack was sleeping, he decided to seek advice,
He complained to Oscar; the wise old Owl, 
 "That Jack pinched corn from my field; Twice!"

The wise old looked puzzled, and blinked, and sort of frowned,
"Who, Who," he asked the scarecrow, then turned his head right round,
To where Nutty the Squirrel was sitting, with a nut between his paws.
"Tut, tut," said Nutty, "He's back is he, Breaking all our laws."

Oscar blinked again. Then said, "Whoo, whoo!" in surprise and disbelief,
"I thought he was back in the City, Who, heck, he is a thief."

Scarecrow said, "I've booed him and I've shooed him; and I even told him to scram.
Still I cannot get rid of him, so I wondered if you have a plan,
because if he takes anymore corn our losses will be a lot higher,
the farmer will stick bangers in me and put me on the bonfire."

"Whoo, whoo, whooo, I know," said Oscar excitedly,
"We'll scare him from the field, just you wait and see."

It was very early the next morning, when Jack the Lad was out of his nest.
Scarecrow saw him coming, and said, "Here he is the pest."

Jack circled around the field, screeching at the top of his voice,
"I'm Jack the Lad and I'm coming in your field, and you ain't got no choice!"

Scarecrow waited in silence, without uttering one boo, or shoo.
Jack cheekily strutted towards him. But he only took a step or two,
when...BANG, BANG, BANG! went three bangers, really close to where Jack the Lad stood.
He dropped a piece of corn from his beak, and flew off to Ravens Wood,
All the Crows were panicking; some were hiding behind the trees.
Jack said, "Cur, cur, cripes!" and felt poorly and shook at the knees.

Scarecrow laughed his head off, then picked it up and put it back on.
Then he shouted excitedly, "It worked, It worked, he's gone!"

"What a hoot!" said Oscar, "Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hooooooo!"
"Tut, tut." said Nutty unimpressed, "Course it worked, I knew it would do."

So nowadays, you never hear a scarecrow shout, 'Scram!' or 'Boo!' or 'Shoo!'
But you will hear them letting off bangers, like the Scarecrow at Dingle Doo.

.

                    Dicky Tapping
Dicky Tapping is a woodpecker, a very busy bird,
from dawn to dusk, his tap, tap, tap, tap, tapping can be heard,
Dicky will not settle for a wet and draughty nest.
He tap, tap, taps,from dawn to dusk to make his home the best.


  Timothy Hedgehog finds a Friend.
One day when the sun was shining, all the animals were at play. Timothy Hedgehog went to join  them,
but the nasty things shooed him away.
  "Clear Off!" they shouted rudely, "Your prickly and ply too rough. Why can't you be like the rest of us; all cuddly and covered in fluff?
 Poor Timothy walked away tearfully, shuffling and snuffling along, he sat on a stone and had a good cry. Then from somewhere a voice said,
   "Whats wrong?"
  "Who said that?" asked Timothy. He couldn't see anyone around. 
  "Your sitting on my house," said the voice, which seemed to come from the ground.
  Timothy jumped up quickly, from what he thought was a stone.
  He looked at it, thinking to himself, 'Well it looks more like a stone than a home.'
  Slowly out of each corner, came a very wrinkly leg, then just as slowly at one end, there appeared,
a thumb shaped wrinkly head.
"Who are you?" asked Tymothy, wiping a tear from his eye.
"I'm Terry Tortoise!" came the answer,  "Come now, please don't cry."
But Timothy could not help it, and started crying again.
"Why on earth do you sob so, are you feeling pain?"
Asked Terry who was getting worried, because Timothy was really upset.
"The animals will not play with me."
Timothy told Terry, who said, "Don't fret. 
They will not play with me either, they say I'm too slow and I'm ugly and that I should be like them, fast and fury and cuddly; so why don't we play together? Providing you don't run too fast."
"Well I can't run very fast either, with my little legs I always come fast."
said Timothy, who felt more cheerful, having found himself a good friend.
His spines would not stick in Terry's shell; in fact they were most likely to bend.
Terry was so well mannered and really a very good sport.
And although he was not very good looking, Timothy never gave it a thought.
   When the others saw Terry and Timothy playing together and laughing in the sun,
they thought they were missing something and came to join in the fun.



        Beaver Sam.
There once was a Beaver called Sam.
He was busy building a dam.
The damned dam burst.
 Poor Sam curst.
then sailed away in a pram


    Sally Black Mutt.

Sally, Sally Black Mutt went for a stroll,
she got a muddy nose sniffing down a hole.

Sally, Sally, Back Mutt, what you got there?
Let that Bunny Rabbit go, and stop chewing his ear.

Sally, Sally Black Mutt, we are fed up of you.
God didn't put things on this earth for you to chew.

Sally, Sally, Black Mutt has now learnt her lesson.
She stuck her nose down a big rats hole and the rat wasn't messing.


                          Jovial Joe and Laughing Lester

Jovial Joe the joyful Jester, told a joke to Laughing Lester.
Laughing Lester thought it funny and laughed until his eyes were runny.


         Wilf Wolf the Rotten Rotter

Wilf Wolf is a rotten rotter, he chased poor little Olga Otter.
Olga was in such a tizzy, she ran and swam and felt quite dizzy.
A good job Olga's a good swimmer, or Wilf would have her for his dinner.


               Cocker Doodle

 Cocker Doodle saw the Poodle chase the cat round the farm.
Cocker Doodle watched the Poodle from his perch; where he came to no harm.


           Robin Redbreast

Little Robin Redbreast, wearing his bright red vest'
has a song and a twinkle in his eye.
Little Robin Redbreast comes out of his warm nest
when the snow falls from the sky.

    Micky Mog and Big Pat.

A Mangy Moggie called Micky Mog
Would fight with anything; even a dog!

A great big dog they called big Pat,
never did like that mangy cat.

So she waited in ambush behind a log;
thinking to herself, I'm a clever dog.

But Micky did what most cats do,
he jumped on the log to get a good view.

He spotted Pat crouched there having a titter,
jumped on her back, stuck his claws in and bit her.

The pain and shock put Pat to flight,
she ran and ran until out of sight.

Micky hung on all the way,
shouting things like, yahoo, yee, hoolay.

I don't know what happened after that,
because there has been no sighting of dog nor cat.


              The Elves in the Hawthorn Hedge.

I don't know how true this story is, but I'll tell it to you anyway,
it was told to me by my Granddad when we were sitting on a stack of hay.

He said he was working in a field, trimming a hawthorn hedge,
when he came across a family of elves, tucking into hot meat and veg.

They were sitting on toadstools around a sawn off stump; that someone had sawn off long ago.
Granddad said he would not have seen them if he hadn't stooped down real low.

They wore leaf green pointed hats and grass green clothes.
and mud brown boots that turned up at the toes.

"Oh," said Granddad, "I'm sorry to disturb you, I didn't mean to be rude,
I hope I didn't startle you, or put you off your food."

The largest of them; who was six inches small, said,
"Jesus, ti's alright, well not at all. Would you like to join us in a bite to eat?
We have carrots and tatties and freshly cooked meet."

"Well thank you," said Granddad, "That's kind of you."
The Elf pointed to a log, and said, "Pull up a pew."

They gave him a bowl, that had been carved out of wood,
with fancy designs on, that Granddad thought were quite good.

Written in fancy writing were the words giant size.
Because Granddad was a giant when seen through their eyes.

They filled the bowl right up to the brim,
and gave him a fork, saying, "Here you are, get stuck in."

They told him they'd seen him working hard every day,
trimming hedges and digging ditches in wet sticky clay.

"Have You?" asked Granddad, "I didn't know,
I wouldn't have seen you if I had not stooped really low."

They told him that there weren't many giants' who knew they were around,
as we wear green clothes and brown boots we blend in with the ground.

I have searched and I have searched in that hedgerow myself,
but I've never spotted even one elf.

Yet, hundreds of people say they've seen them too;
plus there is an elf spotters club, so I suppose it is true.

                                                         CHEERFUL ENA.
                                               At the zoo, there is a laughing hyena
                                                I don’t know if you have ever seen her.
                                                She cheers every one up;
                                                She is such a cheerful pup.
                                                They shout,
                                                ‘Oh look, have you seen her?
Hi Ena!’
Me wearing my Rapping Beany plus skarf and gloves to match.

Tuesday, 25 February 2014

The Downfall of a Cat Burgler.

The cat burglar,
moved like a cat,
a snoop a sneak,
a trespassing freak.
He came at night,
gave people a fright,
through window skylight,
through anywhere tight.
then,
he had a sticky patch,
in a fight,
he found a match;
not a cricket match;
it was a cricket bat.
No longer moving like a cat;
The rat!



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