When is a moth a cat? When it is a tiger moth
I have decided to hang my dogs I.D. tag on the base of his tail to stop other dogs sniffing his bum.
I said to my Mrs, "Don't let me be a cabbage. I would rather be a couch potato like all the other brain dead people."
Posh bloke from double barrel named village visited Northern Industrial Town "What a Shit-hole!" He said. Well he was just passing through!
Hey, I don't know how those Americans can drive on the right hand side of the road. I tried it on our M.1 in the UK & almost got killed.Instructor, 'How do you detect a Suicide bomber?'
Recruit, 'Catch him in the act.'
Instructor, 'Then what?'
Recruit, 'Lock him up so he can't do it again.'
My pal went to a spiritualist. The spiritualist said,
"Your wife is happy on the other side and she is delighted that you are well.
Because she doesn't want you joining her there and making her miserable."
A mans house burnt down and he had a newer better one built from his insurance payout. He was watching the news about a disaster and wondered how he could start a flood.I once bred Lurcher's'. I said to my wife, 'Put Pip with Sal, they should make nice pups together.' She said to me, ' isn't that your job?' Me, 'No Pip will have to do it.'