laugh at life with gillie

Can't sing. Can't sing a thing. Wish I could, that'd be good. A celeb, a reb. Cool rule, women drool. Johnny Cool. X Factor, Mentor. Television, Eurovision. Perfection A mansion A velvet voice, Choice! A Rolls-Royce. If I-I-I-I could sing, I-I-I-I-I'd sing Something, mushy! gushy, lusty! Ohhhhh, how they'd lust, my autograph would be a Must. Iiiiiiii'd sing something nice! Cooooool as ice! Coooooool, I-I-I-I-I'd make em droooool, Nickers would fly aye, aye,aye! They'd scream and yell... Hell! I-I-I-I- Aye aye aye, wish that I ---- could SSSSSSIIIIIIIIING!

I got a dog -a bitch- she's only small -a titch-. A terror; a terrier; a bone buryer. It took me hours to plant some flowers. The terror pup dug them all up. Replaces them with bones... and mobile phones. A digger, a scratter, a very good ratter. She kills pet mice, not nice! And Rabbits! so many bad habits. She chases cats, and wind blown hats. She chases birds, rolls around in fox turds. She chased a fox, and savaged my socks. In the chicken run? She had lots of fun. The feathers flew, that's true. A one bitch Rat-pack. A hunter, a throwback to days gone by; She killed a fly. that buzzed her eye. She's very quick, she looks angelic, Small in size, Big brown eyes, Vermin hater,  terminator. Love her to bits. www.theoldie.co.uk www.any-uk-vet.co.uk/clee

Rock and roll singing soul or anything that rhymes, Ballads, blues, blue swede shoes, all parts of our times, Mu-sic to your ears, Happy, Sad, your in tears. Gra-nd parents didn't like it not as good as theirs Black bottom they got em, Jazzzz, Skiffle folk and Rock; Blu-u-u-u-es... B-BOP! HOP! Hip hop! Now...at the top. Where were you at the time, when you were in your prime? Left school, broke every rule, played that music loud. Fell in love, turtle dove, soppy ballad song. Baby due, pink or blue? Memor-ies, cherish-es, years fly by; Hey was it that long? You may be old show your bold, CO-O-OOOL, not cold, Rock on John! to every thing that's here been and gone.   www.theoldie.co.uk

There once was a cowboy called Jed, I said once, he lived long ago; he's dead. He was at the last stand in the Wild West land. He wore a mask... and a big hat, What about that? You could tell it was him, I think he was dim. a little black mask, well, I ask?; Yeah, a little black job; didn't cover gob. He robbed trains and banks. and had bad pals who were cranks. Quick on the draw; and breaking the law... So handsome with his lantern jaw He never ever went near a cow, Unless he was rustling em;  Now! Why call him a cowboy? I hear you ask, when all he ever did was rob folk in a mask. I really don't know; if I did I'd say so. But! the cinemas fill, when Jed's top of the bill. Whenever there's nowhere for Jed to rob; in his mask, that isn't big enough, to cover the task He has a whirl in bed with his girl; still wearing his mask! must be why the cinemas full, Cowboys and Cowgirls? I think its all Bull.

  The Mad Poet  Rupert was an aspiring poet, though the critics didn't want to know it. He began to rave and tear his hair out, his lips were formed in a permanent pout. He wasn't original. In time he was sectioned, he'd gone out of his mind, Well, he'd never been in it, I think you will find. He now sits in his cell dreaming up lots of verse Of silvery moons and a nocturnal hearse. frittering lights and a madman's curse. He was getting original. In time he was allowed to use sharp pens, so he wrote of ghostly shapes crossing fog shrouded fens. The critics read his work and now want to know it. Rupert's now famous; a celebrated Mad Poet. Now he's original. The Inn on The Moor.  I came across a lonely Inn across a lonely Moor, The clientèle were weird as hell so I legged it for the door. I made it to the threshold, the air inside was cold. Mine host appeared in front of me, a pale skinny chap, upon his bony head he wore a raggedy

I'm going to have a shout at rap, close this yawning generation gap. I'm 70 and  up for it. lets have a go, Yo! we'll strut our stuff in the hood, that's good. We have our soul,  and rock and roll Now live in this time, talk in rhyme, lets have a go; Yo! We all have our point of view, Now it's their time give them their due, let go, Yo! Come on you Dads, here's your chance strut your stuff take a stance shout at the pensioners rapping dance ... EN-IT! Dads Rap Pack Come on Dads' now here's the chance,  join in with Dads' Rap Pack Dance. Wave your hands up in the air;  Kids embarrassed? You don't care. Jump around on spindly legs, the blood will rush to those old pegs. Do a roll, you know you can, spin on the floor like a fresh air fan. The Mother Rap Packers follow on, fans of Walter, Fred & John. Wear your flat cap back to front, Your on the dancing partner hunt. Now we've all got on the floor, youngst

I'm going to have a shout at rap, close this yawning generation gap. I'm 70 and  up for it. lets have a go, Yo! we'll strut our stuff in the hood, that's good. We have our soul,  and rock and roll Now live in this time, talk in rhyme, lets have a go; Yo! We all have our point of view, Now it's their time give them their due, let go, Yo! Come on you Dads, here's your chance strut your stuff take a stance shout at the pensioners rapping dance ... EN-IT! Come on Dads' now here's the chance,  join in with Dads' Rap Pack Dance. Wave your hands up in the air;  Kids embarrassed? You don't care. Jump around on spindly legs, the blood will rush to those old pegs. Do a roll, you know you can, spin on the floor like a fresh air fan. The Mother Rap Packers follow on, fans of Walter, Fred & John. Wear your flat cap back to front, Your on the dancing partner hunt. Now we've all got on the floor, youngsters making for

The NHS is in a mess? Who's to blame? Guess! Is it me? I'm an oldie, Once called a 'Goldie Oldie', Respect is what they got, Not us lot. Living too long, that's what's wrong. Taking up beds? What fat heads! If we live long,  that can't be wrong. We done our bit, we're fit! We're not ill, bit over the hill. Not in Hospital,  Out in the Cold, Because were old. From cradle to grave, been through a war; brave! Paid our dues, Now we have Tory blues. Rich men, in shadow of Big Ben. Look after their own, put us in a home. We pay for our keep, whilst relatives weep. Massive bill, nothing left in the will. No hospital bed, No care! That's what I dread. Terminally ill? Pay your care bill. Hospitals for young, we're bottom of rung. Care on the cheap, Cash? Toffs keep. A country for hero's?

Mary had a little Lamb. they blamed it on the Ram,    But!  hey diddle diddle the cat had a fiddle and the cow jumped over the moon,    "why you do that?" she asked the cat, Clear off you feline loon.      Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, in a bad way, he'd taken a fall, so he wasn't getting involved.    Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet then the mouse ran up her frock,   The clock struck 1 , 2, 3, and 4 as she sat there in deep shock.   Big Jack Horner sat in the Corner eating all the pies.   He says that he is not obese but then he tells such lies.   Jack Spratt could eat no fat, so he gave it to Jack Horner,   Horner said, 'If you don't want that, just toss it in my corner Tom, Tom the pipers son stole Jacks Spratt's creamy bun.   The farmer came in, with a gun, (he'd lost a pig)   and sent the pipers son on the run.   Little Bo Peep lost her sheep,   She was upset cos they don't come cheap.

Life's diary, last page, old age, pains rage. Been there, wiser; a sage? “Not your day”, what they say. My day? I had many a day; worked hard, played hard, long time in graveyard. When young, handsome. Got noticed, flung dung from tongue. Now old, loose skin round chin, and most everything. NOT! Good looking; now listening. Watery red eyes, seen it all, blue and dark sky's. LISTEN! Compassion, Observation, Consultation, Association. Any Age, Any Nation, One Race, Human! Keep pace.

            Chapter One             One warm summer evening in the olden days all was peaceful at Barnfield by the Beck.  Bramble the field mouse had taken advantage of the warm long day to repair the thatch of his straw round house where he lived with his wife Whibsey.             He was weaving the very last straw into place when a shrill scream filled the air and all the other animals darted into their homes.  Bramble slid down from the top of his house and into the door that Whibsey was holding open for him; because she knew from past experience what had happened; she wanted her husband safely indoors as soon as possible.             Bramble slammed the door behind himself.             ‘We will have to do something about those falcons Whibsey; they have snatched little Bunsy Rabbit now.’ He said.             Whibsey was concerned,             ‘Now don’t you get taking things on by yourself Bramble; you are not big enough to fight those falcons on you own; they strik