Sunday, 19 February 2012

Why I started this blog.

I started this blog because I have always wanted to make people laugh.  I have always been the joker of the pack.
I seek out the funniest people on twitter because I love a good laugh, I don't care how many people follow me as long as they have a good sense of humour; my favorite tweeters are those with a witty repertoire and genuinely talented people. I follow too many to mention them here, but check me out on twitter and you will see what I mean.
 When my 53 year old wife died of  cancer I could hardly face life. I noticed that if I watched comedy video's I relaxed, so I began to make up my own funny stories again to cheer myself up; the first comic to start me laughing again was Jack Dee. I couldn't sleep so I was flicking the remote around the TV programmes late at night and noticed that Jack was on Celebrity Big Brother. I saw the funny side of the way he looked at his fellow inmates and I warmed to him when he told the flirting women that he loved his wife, and then when he started teasing the security dogs by banging on the doors and climbed up into the attic, found a way out and escaped. I found myself laughing once again.  So if you ever read this Blog Jack, you will see that you cured a grieving man of depression; and caused me to want to cheer others up.  I always had a knack of making up rhyming stories, I used to make them up for my three sons when they were small and so I have included some of them in my Kiddies Rhymes.  I hope whoever reads my blog laughs at my jokes and see's the funny side of life when things seem to be going wrong all around them. I would love to be a comedy writer for TV or Radio. I would like to work with other comedy writers if they would have me.


Wednesday, 8 February 2012

How to woo a Mermaid. ( sea shanty.)

 Oh didddly oh, Oh! diddly Oh ;
Here's a sea shanty you may not know.

There are more fish in the sea, so get your tackle out,
Strut your stuff along the deck, don't take any old trout.
Cast your bait and then you wait, dangling your worm.
Don't be soft, don't give up, you really should stay firm.

Any Port in a storm? That will never do,
whosoever first said that, didn't have a clue.
Keep your sea legs, careful boy, don't panic my son.
Don't rush it, steady now, then you'll have more fun.

No, not her; not for you, she looks like a cod.
This ones her,
 breasts are bare and she's hanging from your rod.
Thrashing around hard to get; don't you be afraid.
Half a woman, half a fish, a Beautiful Mermaid.
 Oh, diddly-oh  Oh- diddly oh,
oh-diddly oh diddly oh- oh-oh. ohhhhhh!

Friday, 3 February 2012

WE ARE ALL IN IT TOGETHER.

WE ARE ALL IN IT TOGETHER! YES, WERE ALL IN THE SHIT!
Were all in it together, lets all do our bit.
You'll get no more pension they can't afford it,
You'll work till your worn out, but try to keep fit.


YES! WE ARE ALL IN IT TOGETHER; WERE ALL IN THE SHIT!
So the cream smell of roses we'll do our bit.
The Oiks and the Labourers can wear themselves out,
You can crawl into work with arthritis and goutl.

YES! WE ARE ALL IN IT TOGETHER; WE ARE ALL IN THE SHIT!
Although your lungs are about to give out,
you can limp  into work though your legs may give out,
if your ticker is dickey, your back is worn out,

WERE ALL IN IT TOGETHER, WERE ALL IN THE SHIT,
You can't retire; you'll have to stay fit.
Disabled and oldie's you'll all do your bit.
Yes were all in it together,
Yes were all in the SHIT!

Hero's are wounded; the salt of the earth.
 Where are the tax dodgers bankers, greedy M.P.s?
Who brought this great nation down on its knees?

COS WERE ALL IN IT togeth-er?
I am too tired to do my bit,
I'll dig my own grave, and lie down in it.
Work to the end, although I'm not fit.

(Chorus)
WERE ALL IN IT TOGETHER, YES! WERE ALL IN THE SHIT!
WERE ALL IN IT TOGETHER WE'LL ALL HAVE TO DO OUR BIT!

STRONG AND STABLE STRONG AND STABLE,
THERE'S NO MONEY ON THE TABLE!
YES THEY'RE ALL IN IT TOGETHER.
YOU'LL HAVE TO BRAVE THE WEATHER. 

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